Relationships are the foundation of our lives. They can make us happy, sad, or depressed. After all, the people around you, whether they are your relatives, friends, or coworkers, have a profound impact on your well-being, which entails your mental and emotional health as well.
Sometimes, a relationship that once felt safe can slowly turn sour, becoming toxic. The word itself is heavy, dripping with negativity. But what does it truly mean?
What is a Toxic Relationship?
A toxic relationship has unhealthy dynamics. When you are in a toxic relationship, you feel unsafe expressing your thoughts and feelings. It is a relationship that poses a serious hazard for your well-being because, in essence, your safety itself is at risk. Although arguments and conflicts might seem normal in any relationship, in a toxic relationship, they can form a continual pattern. Moreover, you often find yourself pleasing someone at the expense of your feelings and needs. Let’s now explore a few other signs of a toxic relationship.
You Don’t Feel Emotionally Safe
Emotional safety has levels; you can’t simply share your feelings with everyone. Nevertheless, when you are in a close relationship with a marriage mate, for example, and you feel you are constantly editing yourself, afraid to be open and vulnerable, that’s a red flag. A healthy relationship allows you to share good and bad feelings without fear of being reprimanded or judged. A healthy relationship allows you to be imperfect and accountable without fearing shame.
Communication is Weak
Good communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. In a toxic relationship, dysfunctional communication can include gaslighting and manipulative words. Gaslighting is defined as a tactic that makes someone question their reality, memory, or perceptions, which is a form of psychological abuse.
You Feel Like You Lost your Identity
Toxic people generally like you to fit in their own mold; to that end, they can force you to do things you don’t want to do, just to please them. For example, they might force you to spend time with people who set your anxiety alarms, or they might make you go places you would rather opt out of. Remember, in any healthy relationship, it takes two to tango. You both hold power; it’s not up to your mate to decide everything for you.
Judgment is the Norm
Admittedly, we are all imperfect and make mistakes from time to time. Nevertheless, when your own imperfections take centre stage in a relationship, then that’s a red flag pointing to a toxic relationship. For example, if you like sleeping late and your partner reprimands you by saying, “You should get up earlier,” rather than saying, “Why do you like sleeping late?” He or she is approaching you with condemnation, not compassion, and that’s a sign of a toxic relationship.
They Belittle You or Make You Feel Ashamed
If your mate likes to point out your faults in front of others or embarrass you continuously, this is more than a sign of emotional immaturity; it’s a sign of a toxic relationship. People who are toxic in general prefer to always highlight your failures or shortcomings; if they can’t find something bad to point to, they will usually invent something or raise something from the past.
They Show No Empathy
Empathy is feeling someone’s pain in your heart. It allows you to put yourself in another person’s position. A toxic person is far from empathetic. For example, when you open up and share your feelings, they dismiss you or turn the conversation back on themselves. Instead of feeling your joys and pain, they would rather focus on themselves and revel in your misery.
Should you Leave a Toxic Relationship?
The first step in leaving a toxic relationship is acknowledging that you deserve better. Leaving a toxic relationship can be dangerous if not done safely. That’s why you need to seek the support of a trusted friend, mentor, or professional support counsellor. If you are married, don’t pull the plug on your marriage just yet without consulting a therapist, marriage counselor, or religious leader.
David Messiha | Staff Writer
