Instead of officially “dating,” perhaps rethink the concept of how you’re going to meet people…
The pressure will be lifted, and you won’t have to necessarily “fit” dating into your busy schedule. Branch out your notion of where and when you can connect with people.
While It’s always exciting to learn a new partner’s hobbies, it’s also fun to meet someone who already enjoys some of the things you do.
The most important thing is to figure out exactly what you yourself are looking for. Are you looking for a lifetime partner to start a family with? Do you want kids? Maybe you’re looking for some friendship first, and patient to see if that eventually leads to more? Do you just want someone to hang out with, for movies and drinks, but are not actually ready to get really involved? You may not even know what you are looking for, just yet.
At different points in your life, you may just not want to delve in deeply, because of your other commitments. At other points in time, no matter how busy you are, you’re ready to start planting seeds for the future.
Yoga Date
If you love YOGA, for example, stop considering it as something you only do for your body and mind. Perhaps reimagine the perception, and assign those classes an additional responsibility.
Be on Time
Arrive a few minutes early, to strike up a conversation with someone new. You can commiserate over a pose you hate, or just chit-chat over a cool yoga mat you saw. You have to break the ice, but if you don’t want it to appear you’re on a mission to discover your next love interest, swerve the topic to something completely innocent. They’ll have no clue!
Choose a Strategic Position
Plant your mat in the back of the class, so you can check out the participants. Does someone seem interesting? Perhaps you’ve never noticed him/her before.
Alternatively, there are people who hunt for partners down grocery aisles! They purposefully go after work hours, to search for some quick take-out items at Whole Foods, for example, assuming the singles lined-up there are not heading home to families awaiting their presence, and home-cooked dinners. You can also get your workout in, while meeting someone new. Arrange a “blind date” to go for a walk.
Dating App
If you don’t have an aversion to it, then try some dating apps. They are tricky, as you never know if people are being honest, or even posting pictures of themselves. Also, you can waste weeks texting back and forth with someone, only to discover they’re in a committed relationship, and just looking for a little companionship on the side.
Is there a cause you support? Do you love to run marathons? Are you vegan? There are lifestyle choices we all have, which are important areas of our lives. We could potentially meet others who have similar goals, or parallel interests, while nurturing our chosen paths.
Entertainment Dates
Are you an avid reader? Are you a movie-holic? Standing in line at film festivals alone is a perfect place to meet like-minded people. You can start conversations with almost anyone, asking what they’ve seen and what they’ve liked. Sometimes, establishing a friendship from ground zero is the most honest and solid way of forming a relationship. You have one thing in common, already. Are you open to maybe exploring one of the genres he/she suggested, which you normally would not?
It’s important to balance out your life. Work is important, but so is love, and the quality of your life. You have made efforts for your education, your job, and your paycheck, but you also need to make efforts to find a partner. Matchmakers sometimes work, but they are very expensive, and you truly can do what they do, on your own. Ask friends or relatives if they know anyone also looking to meet.
Navigating is not easy. You will have to be prepared to meet ghosts (those dates who suddenly stop texting you, but do not even bow-out gracefully) and breadcrumbers (those who string you along, but are not consistent). Yes, there’s a whole vocabulary list, for the kinds of dates you don’t want!
Think about what you like in a person. Integrity and a sense of humour, or silliness and a chill factor? Perhaps you like people who are very smart, and dislike those who are too ambitious?
You are on a treasure hunt, but only you truly know the secret ingredients for the treasure recipe you are seeking.
Cheryl Struzer | Contributor
