Not sure if the new guy in your life wants to be your forever and always? You’re confused, because he doesn’t seem to hate you, yet he’s not making a move either. It stings to think he’s just not that into you—but at the same time, you realize it would be a relief to know the truth, so you can move on. Here are 10 signs this guy doesn’t like you as much as you like him.
- You Always Text First
While he may not exactly be telling you to go away when you send him a message, you’ve noticed a chilling trend in your communications. You’re always the one that reaches out first. You suspect if you didn’t message him, you’d never talk again. Take that as proof your relationship is going nowhere fast. If he’s not looking for any silly excuse to text you, he doesn’t care much.
- His Responses Leave Much to Be Desired
That’s if he’s even replying at all… If he stops answering, consider yourself ghosted. However, if he’s still talking to you, make a note of the quality of your conversation. Is he taking forever to respond every time? Like over 12 hours? Are his answers short and lifeless? If yes, he’s likely trying to bore you into making the decision to leave him alone.
- You Don’t Know Anything About Each Other
Let’s say he does actually reply to you frequently and his responses aren’t completely boring. In that case, ask yourself if you ever talk about something below surface level. If you’re only talking about each other’s favourite movies and music, travel adventures, or he’s only sending you funny TikToks and the conversations never delve deeper, then you two are probably just friends. Alternatively, if he only ever comes to cry on your shoulder, you’re his free therapist.
- He’s Always Busy
You two can never seem to agree when it would be a good time to hang out. Whenever you bring up the idea of you two spending time together in person, he’s always got a reason why he can’t. Even worse, he’ll agree to plans, then something will come up later and he’ll flake. While it could be true he’s busy, it’s best not to bother waiting until he’s got more free time on his hands. If he’s constantly busy, he’s not ready to date—and if he were into you, he’d find a way to squeeze you into his schedule.
- He’s Comfortable Talking About Other Women
If this guy is telling you about other women he finds attractive or unloads his girl troubles on you, he might be trying to make you jealous or he could just not care how you’re going to perceive his interest in looking elsewhere for love. Either way, he’s not worth it. You’re too old for that high school behaviour and you shouldn’t waste your time on someone with wandering eyes.
- He Won’t Touch You
When there’s a chance to lean in for a kiss, he does nothing. His hand doesn’t inch toward yours. He keeps a comfortable distance so he doesn’t accidentally brush against you. These are all clues he’s not interested in physical contact with you—and when he’s not interested in closing the physical distance between the two of you, even by accident, he probably doesn’t think of you as girlfriend material.
- He Doesn’t Go Out of His Way for You
When he has the opportunity to drive halfway across the country for you, hop on a plane for you, rescue you from a back alley, or even buy you flowers, he doesn’t. He doesn’t do anything for you that would require too much effort or money on his part, and he doesn’t do anything that would make it seem like he cares about you. You might tell yourself it would be crazy to hop on a plane for someone, but love makes you crazy.
- You Haven’t Met Anyone Important to Him
You haven’t even met his dog! Even if you’ve been in contact for a while, he hasn’t made any suggestion he wants you close to anyone he values in his life. You have no idea who his friends are—and there’s no indication they’ve heard a peep about you. He doesn’t bring you home to meet his family. You remain firmly on the outskirts of his inner circle.
- He Tells You “He’s Not Ready for a Relationship”
This one might seem obvious, but it can be easy to slip into denial when you hear this line, especially when the guy is not actively avoiding you. You believe you just need to give him some time and he’ll turn around. However, that’s just not how things tend to work. Everyone is always ready to change their life and habits for the right one. What he means is “I’m not ready for a relationship…with you.” He’s just trying to let you down gently.
- You Just Know
No matter what you try to tell yourself, no matter how much hope you cling to, a little whispering voice in the back of your head understands you need to let this guy go. Whether you call it intuition, the Holy Spirit, your sixth sense…it’s best to listen to that little voice and look for a guy who wants to be with you.
Luke Miles | Staff Writer