10 Struggles of Long-Distance Relationships & How to Solve Them
Being in a long-distance relationship is hard. You miss your partner ever day, yearning for them so much that it hurts sometimes. Technology will never replace the need for in-person interaction and touch. These barriers add to the challenges couples normally face.
The added pressure can be a good thing because couples get to learn lessons quicker, acquiring better communication skills. When both individuals finally reunite for good, there’s little room for problems. Let’s look at what struggles long-distance couples face and how to get through them.
Communication is the driving force in all relationships. In a long-distance partnership, it’s probably the biggest hurdle. Texts and voice tone during calls can sometimes be misinterpreted, which may prompt emotional triggers. Ask your partner to clarify what they mean. Use “I” statements when describing how you feel. For example, say, “When you said __, it made me feel like__”.
Clueless About How the Other Feels
If you’re not seeing someone often, one or both of you could be clueless about the other’s emotional state. Have periods where you check in on the relationship. Schedule a set time — maybe once a month — to sit down together and express in-depth what’s going on in your lives and to discuss how you both feel in the relationship.
Sometimes, They Feel Distant
Physical distance can cause couples to feel emotionally distant from one another. And when there’s nothing to talk about over the phone, that makes it worse. You could take a break from your regular mode of communication, which might have gone stale, and freshen it up with another one. For instance, if you usually talk on the phone, try switching to video chat or even email.
Insecurity can surface when couples are away from each other for an extended period of time. It’s normal to start feeling jealous of someone else spending time with your partner. But remember to sustain trust. If there’s no trust in the relationship, it’ll fail. Constantly succumbing to jealous thoughts can cause control issues.
Everyone has important events in their life, whether it’s witnessing a child grow, a business evolve, or a graduation. We want to support our partner and celebrate with them, but we can’t do that. To compensate, schedule a video celebration where both of you enjoy good food and each other’s company.
Time zones are tricky. You might squeeze in a phone or video call before bed, possibly sacrificing sleep just to get a chance to hang out with your loved one. It can also be the other way around, where there’s more than enough time in your night or day, which you then spend without your significant other. That can be lonely, but remember that the distance is temporary.
Being Too Needy
If you have a habit of staring at your phone and expecting your partner to answer you right away, it may reveal that you’re insecure in the relationship. This again goes back to control issues. It’s an unnecessary worry, and the only solution is to assure yourself that they’ll get back to you.
Lack of Connection
Are you putting in more effort than they are? Or maybe the both of you have become too preoccupied to invest more into the relationship. You’ve got to make time. Plan movie nights using Teleparty—a browser app that lets you watch Netflix or YouTube with others anywhere in the world. There’s even a chat feature for you both to connect!
It’s Going Too Fast
Because absence truly does make the heart grow fonder, you could easily get attached too quickly. Talking for long hours over the phone, for instance, every single day, can do that. However, it can’t always be helped if the connection is strong. To make sure you don’t jump into things too quickly, define each other’s values, lifestyle, and desired goals to find out if they’re aligned with yours.
It Won’t Go Fast Enough
If things are moving at a turtle-like pace, where several days go by without speaking, it might be due to a genuine lack of interest. Watch out for them constantly telling you they’re busy and don’t have time. This may indicate they’re not that into you. Re-evaluate the relationship — maybe it’s a situationship — and decide where to go from there.
Josephine Mwanvua | Contributing Writer