Being single in Toronto can be lonely. Even in Canada’s biggest city, it is difficult for a person to find the correct partner for themselves or just not having the proper time or moment to ask a person out on a date. These obstacles can result in you being single. Take your time to know what kind of relationship you want and who you think is the best.
Stop looking
People might say that you are trying too hard to find that special someone, and you should stop looking. ‘The special someone will come when you least expect it or if you just mingle with people, the right person will come to you’. These words are of no value and might further frustrate the single person.
You are too picky
Being single can be a personal choice, especially for those people who are recovering from a previous relationship that went bad and are now trying to erase any memory of dating. Also, there is nothing wrong with wanting to select the correct person. It is not a checklist of ‘must-haves’ but one or two traits that you (the single person) desires, like being funny or having a love for dogs.
You are not going out there
This is in contrast to the top quote, but it can be just as annoying to hear, for single people. People might criticize you for not looking for a partner or attending social events in order to meet people, but you can rebuff this easily; you go to work, school, attend a church or mosque, do activities in public and live life as much as you can. You are out there and if you haven’t met the right person yet, it is simply because it wasn’t meant to be.
Play the field, being single is great!
This quote is associated with ‘playas’ who promote the single life as an opportunity to be with multiple partners at a time, without the need for commitment. This only adds to the disappointment a person might feel, as you think no one will be committed to your relationship and you should adopt the same lifestyle, which involves not caring about love, simply about pleasure or a score of people you have slept with. However, this is a negative concept and damages a single person’s beliefs in relationships.
You are lucky not to be tied down!
This saying is related to the aforementioned one on ‘playing the field’ but it refers to the hassle and commitment of a relationship that gets in the way of your life. Having a partner may cause you to rethink certain points in your life, like moving to a different city but you can’t due to your partner. This saying may come from a true friend, who wants you to feel comfortable on being single; more space in your schedule, more time to focus on your career, and etc. Friends may think this statement may make you feel better, but deep down, you may want commitment. You desire a busy schedule, where you meet with a loved one on a daily basis.
Use Dating Apps!
When people mention dating apps to you, as a single person, you feel futile as you most likely are familiar with Tinder, OkCupid, and other dating apps in this digital age. The fact that someone is encouraging you when you are already aware of them can be annoying and make you feel that if you cannot find someone online, then you cannot find them at all. Also, it may be your personal preference that you do not want to meet a stranger online.
It’ll happen when you least expect it
Seriously, what does this saying mean? When you least expect it means it can happen anytime, yet you never know and when you hear this quote, your mind will fill up with wonder on who will be your next partner. If someone says this to you, even if trying to be nice, ignore it and live your life naturally.
You can’t love someone unless you love yourself
This saying stems from a psychological standpoint, where people might say you are single because you are not loving yourself. While having a positive demeanor does attract other people around you, it does not mean you first have to reach your ‘peak of perfection’ to find love. You can still be in a relationship and still work on yourself. You might hear this quote from those around you but just ignore it. Focus on being productive and doing happy things in your life.
When was your last relationship?
This question can be innocent enough, as someone might wonder if you have always been single or if you are inexperienced. But is it really anyone else’s business on your dating life? Friends and family might ask, as well as psychologists whom you see, and this might irritate you. But if you have had a relationship in the past that didn’t work, just move on. Say this as a response to the question.
Why are you single?
The worst of all, this question can pop up and hit you in the face. If you are single and are attending a social gathering, like a wedding reception, you may stand out in the crowd without a date, but then again, who cares? You are single at that point of time, and it is no one else’s business. No one should ask you why you are single, as there is no point in forcing a relationship and you prove it by walking tall while single.
Babak Eslami | Writer
