Loneliness can be daunting, and can lead to debilitating stress and anxiety as we age. As young people, making friends was effortless, but as adults, we get more set in our ways, friends retire, move away or die, making it more challenging to make friends. Forming friendships in adulthood is key to longevity and happiness. In this article, I will suggest several strategies for making new friends as an adult.
“According to a study of over 2,000 adults conducted in 2021, 12% of participants indicated that they didn’t have any close friends, and 17% reported feeling dissatisfied with their number of friends”.
Expanding your social circle allows you to forge impactful connections in adulthood. Often, the best connections we make are through introductions from mutual friends. It’s beneficial to leverage current networks, most likely from work. If you are invited to an event, accept and try to engage in conversations about their lives outside of the workplace. Be genuine; people like to talk about their families and their interests, and this offers opportunities to initiate casual friendships.
Another unique opportunity to make friends in adulthood is to join professional associations where there are opportunities to join networking groups, or attend conferences and meet-ups. Attend in-person events instead of myriad Zoom meetings. At these sessions, people of like minds discuss career growth and professional interests, and connections forged can lead to fruitful friendships. These events provide a structured way to meet new people and engage in shared activities.
If retired, taking a hobby-related class like wine tasting, hiking, gardening or photography, or attending game nights, provides an ideal setting to build camaraderie and potentially make new friends. Activities like cooking classes, writing or book clubs, poetry reading, crafting groups, or sports clubs like hockey, golf, or pickleball (which seems to be the latest craze amongst adults), make it easy to connect with other adults who share similar interests. People tend to be more relaxed during these activities, making it so much easier to strike up conversations and initiate new friendships
In this ever-expanding digital age, social media is a haven for finding / re-establishing lost connections. Often, a simple post to a familiar name can connect you with a whole new social circle where friendships are rekindled. There is a plethora of platforms online to reconnect with old friends or make new ones. Social media networks, like Meta, X, LinkedIn, Bumble BFF, or any of the many dating sites, provide opportunities to meet people, but caution must be taken, especially on some dating sites where predators lurk. Engaging regularly in these social communities can often lead to virtual relationships transforming into real-world friendships.
Volunteering or providing community service at your local charity not only addresses a social concern, but is a fantastic way to meet people with similar values. People who volunteer have ‘big’ hearts and generous spirits, be it at a local food bank, hospital, or women’s or animal shelter. Shared experiences, working for a cause like tree planting or environmental clean-up, or participating in civic activities can be the base of strong, future friendships, as these people are often gregarious and easy to befriend. Prof. Catherine Haslam, a clinical psychologist at the University of Queensland, says,“group-based connections like friendship networks, community and interest groups and clubs, play a particularly important role in supporting us … and helping us cope with the challenges and adversities life throws our way
If you attend events, but have not developed a social mindset, you could be ‘alone in the crowd.’ A social mindset requires you to be open to possibilities. A smile works wonders, as does body language that suggests you are approachable, and making eye contact, which expresses a willingness to engage
For women today, it often means that you may have to take the initiative in some social situations, depending on the friendship you wish to develop. You may want to be the first to suggest grabbing a coffee, or attending an event such as a street festival or a lecture. Rewarding interactions often start by overcoming crippling feelings of intimidation. It is critical, in your search for friendship, to have clear intentions on the friendship you are trying to cultivate. Are you looking for a few quality friends, or a group of friends with whom you can meet consistently? As adults, we want honest relationships where we can be our authentic selves.
We may believe it’s success and wealth that drive happiness, but research shows relationships make up 70 per cent of personal happiness. We are more likely to choose our friends more carefully as adults, and that is a good thing, since true friendships can help us relieve stress, combat loneliness, keep us mentally fit, and contribute to our longevity.
Janet Bennett-Cox | Contributing Writer
