Before the internet age, people relied on matchmakers to meet potential marriage mates. In countries like India, matchmaking is a rite of passage. TV shows like Million Dollar Matchmaker and Indian Matchmaking are big hits, especially after the pandemic, which made it harder for singles to meet organically.
Nevertheless, in our increasingly digital age, more people are resorting to dating apps like Tinder, Match.com, Hinge, and Bumble to meet partners. For a fee, these apps and websites will collect data about you, crunch the numbers, and then match you with someone who theoretically has been pre-screened for compatibility.
But can a mathematical formula help you find the love of your life? Although the answers might differ, consider what relationship experts say.
The Online Dating Conundrum
Online dating generates many reactions, from exhilaration to fatigue to fury. Spending hours on end, scrolling through an endless supply of profiles can take a physical, mental, and emotional toll on your mind and body.
After all, you are trying your best to see if that individual complements your life; but is it possible to gauge if a person has chemistry with you based only on an online conversation? Many relationship experts disagree.
According to relationship coaches, body language plays a pivotal role in drawing us toward a person or away from them. Other cues like facial expressions, tone of voice, and eye contact can also describe one’s vibes, which can be perceived as good or bad. It is impossible to read a person’s body language in an online conversation, especially one that doesn’t involve a live camera.
It is important to note that when you are chatting online, not only are you missing body vibes, but you are also hiding behind a screen. Some people can be pleasant and attractive in an online conversation, but not in real life.
Not to negate other aspects like harassment, for example. Some individuals might not be serious about a relationship, and are simply there to flirt with no serious end goal in mind. Although there is no absolute rule about the number of conversations you might have, it is only ethical to avoid misleading people by making promises you can’t deliver.
Another pressure of online dating is sexual harassment. A 2020 Pew Research Survey found that 37 per cent of online daters were continuously contacted by people, even after they said they weren’t interested in them. Thirty-five per cent of online daters also experienced harassment by receiving sexually explicit texts or images.
Feeling pressured, many are giving up on dating apps altogether by deleting them or taking a break from them. Many are realizing that dating apps don’t only take their time and money, but they also affect their mental well-being. Many noticed an improvement in their overall mood and energy levels by taking a break from these apps.
Red Flag Indicators
People usually put considerable emphasis on writing the perfect profile. Apps like Tinder, for example, boil the dating experience down to accessing people’s images. When you compare that to stressing out over a questionnaire, swiping is undoubtedly more fun, and even addictive.
If you are considering online dating, bear in mind that deception is rampant. It is vital to watch out for lies, discrepancies, and people who agree with everything you say. It is essential to be aware of a person you have no common friends with as this is likely a fake profile.
Relationship experts agree that euphoria is high in all relationships; however, if the urge to impress isn’t reciprocated, that’s a red flag. For example, if your date ignores your calls, cancels your plans, or doesn’t make you a priority, he most likely isn’t sincere.
If you are chatting or texting, watch out for signs that the person is married and hiding it. The most obvious sign is being unavailable at certain times, like weekends, at night, or after working hours. Too many excuses are a red flag indicator.
Both matchmaking and online dating are setups that only solve one piece of the puzzle. To find the right partner, intermediation is best combined with courtship. Courtship plays an important role in open, transparent communication about values and long-term goals, regardless of where you meet the person.
You must watch out for many red flags in online dating because you are one in a million. When it comes to dating, why not turn to someone who will be looking out for your best interest at heart, they might be pretty close.
Aaron Levinson | Staff Writer
