We all know the value of having good friends. They’re around when we want to have fun, share a passion, unburden ourselves, or need a pick-me-up. As we age, we realize that not all friends are created equal, and there are some types we should surround ourselves with. The goal is to have friends who fill vital roles and can help in several ways. Let’s look at the five types of friends that you should have in your life, the ones you can rely on and who bring out the best in your personality, while allowing you to be your authentic self.
The “Don’t Sweat It” Friend
This is the friend that lets you mess up from time to time, and can quickly move on from moments where you embarrass yourself. Everyone puts their foot in their mouth or shows up late sometimes, and you want a friend who will be forgiving, and you can still hang out with after your less-than-stellar moments. However, don’t take advantage of a friend just because they’re willing to offer grace for your mistakes. If you do, they’ll eventually grow tired of your antics, and you may lose them. Also, be equally forgiving of their mistakes. We’re all human.
The “Therapist” Friend
It’s not every friend we can tell our darkest secrets or deepest feelings to. It’s important to have one or two that you can unburden your soul to, no matter what. These friends will talk with you on a couch for hours, or sit at a bar and listen to your problems over several glasses of wine. They create safe spaces and judgement-free zones where you can be yourself.
Without friends like this, you won’t have someone to unload your feelings to. In some cases, this can cause anxiety and depression, and even force you to retreat from social situations. Keep these friends close, and ensure you also lend a helping hand or open ear when they need to talk about their feelings and problems.
Remember, their job isn’t to replace a therapist. They’re merely a shoulder to lean on and someone you can turn to for support.
The “Too Honest for Their Own Good” Friend
It’s a classic movie trope: the best friend who gives the main character honest feedback about their behaviour, helping them realize they’ve made mistakes. Then, they help steer them onto the right path. This is the honest friend type, and everyone should have at least one.
It’s tempting to have friends who only tell you how great you are and that you look amazing. A healthier approach, however, is to have a few honest friends to keep you grounded and aware of your actions. These friends will point out when you have too much attitude, or if you’re wrong in an argument with your boss or partner. Since honesty is one of the most important traits of friendship, don’t overlook this friend type.
The “Drop of a Dime” Friend
Managing family, work, finances, and a social life can be busy, heavy and draining. You need a friend who, at the drop of a dime, will go to a club or concert or enjoy an expensive three-course meal on a Saturday night (or sometimes even a Tuesday).
You need at least one friend who’s always up for fun. It’s nice if they share your interests, but it’s also okay if they help you expand your comfort zone. Ultimately, this friend will be there when your stress peaks and you need a night out or a weekend of unadulterated fun.
The “Wise” Friend
You don’t need every friend exclusively for fun. As part of your friend group, you need that one friend who is wiser, maybe even older, and has experience that you can draw upon to make life decisions. When faced with career or relationship decisions, you’ll need someone to ask for advice. That person doesn’t always have to be a parent. This friend is someone you trust and can provide a different perspective based on their personal and professional experience. You can turn to them when those big life choices come around.
Types of Friends Matter
Having only one type of friend isn’t ideal. It can be even less productive if all your friends are like you. Variety is key, and the friend types you choose can make a true difference.
Take stock of your friends and review if you have the right people in your life. If not, develop new relationships that o- er certain things your current friends don’t. It doesn’t mean you have to ditch friends. Instead, put in effort to make new friends to add to your social circle.
Lastly, don’t forget to be a good friend in return, as you fill a friend type for those close to you.
Rob Shapiro | Contributing Writer
