How to Know if it’s Love or Infatuation?


Summer 2024

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Contrary to what most people think, love and infatuation are not the same. Whereas infatuation tends to happen quickly, love is a much deeper experience. Infatuation is more about idealizing the other person. Real love goes beyond that. It accepts the person for who they are with all their struggles and imperfections.

Even though infatuation can turn into love, the heavy flying sparks of infatuation do not usually last. That’s because they are not based on reality or real connection. Relationship coaches concur that infatuation can just about happen anywhere. You could have just met someone who caught your eye across the room, and you immediately start to follow them on social media and ask for their number. 

Real love is based on shared experience and grows over time. If you want to know the difference between the two, here are a few telltale signs of true love.

Your Connection is Steadily Growing

Although many might think that true love flourishes hot and fast, it doesn’t. Love tends to develop over time when you spend time with your mate. In a relationship, true love allows you to understand your partner better instead of seeing them as their “ideal self.”

Gradually, open communication allows you to understand their likes and dislikes. That doesn’t mean that you have to share every thought you have. We all want to keep our private feelings to ourselves, and there is nothing wrong in doing that.

An enhanced understanding of your partner’s feelings and emotions makes you accept them for who they are. When you understand them better, your love for them will grow beyond infatuation’s short phase. 

You Have Emotional Conversations

Connecting with your partner fosters a conducive environment for love to grow. After all, love happens when you get to know a person on a more intimate level. When the superficial veneer and shallowness fade, connection is built on what actually matters.

Your conversations take on a whole new meaning beyond the chats about food and shopping. When you hear your partner out on sensitive topics like money, the future, and your own vulnerabilities, you find mutual understanding that allows you to accept them for who they really are. 

It’s Hard to Move on after a Breakup

Infatuation tends to fade, unlike real love, which is hard to get over. When you get over the infatuation phase, you might begin to search for love somewhere else. When it’s true love, you often think about your partner continuously, even after you split. 

Relationship experts agree that it’s very hard to fall out of true love. When you are in love with someone and break up, the heartache might hurt so much. Many experience symptoms of social withdrawal and depression, maybe even taking years to recover. 

You Feel Safe and Secure 

Safety plays a vital role in any relationship. When you feel safe with someone, you are not intimidated by their presence, conversations, or thoughts. Psychologists agree that safety is the cornerstone of any relationship based on true love.

Emotional safety allows you to freely share your hopes, fears, vulnerabilities, and pain with your mate, knowing they will tend to them with empathy and concern. When both partners feel safe and secure, intimate conversations can easily be established. This creates a bond based on mutual care and understanding. 

True Love Lasts

We might have heard the expression “love never fails.” That’s always the case when your relationship has a strong foundation built on genuine love. Infatuation, on the other hand, has its phases. 

Many might fall in love hard and fast, believing this is real love. Nevertheless, when life imposes itself with its hurdles and challenges, they move on to the next romantic relationship, where they feel high on love once again and then give up. 

While romance is a beautiful experience, it is not the single ingredient of true love. True love makes you never give up despite a relationship’s ups and downs, triumphs, and disappointments. If you are looking for love at its best and fullest form, this is the type to seek!

Aaron Levinson | Staff Writer

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